Somewhere deep within the earth’s core Al Gore is meeting with his super secret panel. This meeting is about step 3 of Al Gore’s master plan to become the richest man in the world. Step one was to partner with the “green” minded investment company Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers. Step two was the release of environmental shock-umentary An Inconvenient Truth. Step three (the one currently underway) meet with the Morlocks in the center of the earth to persuade them to adjust the surface oil pressure. With the oil slowed to a trickle gas prices will rise. The general populous, feeling the squeeze on their pocketbooks, will turn from the gas guzzling SUVs. The American car companies being slow to change won’t be ready to produce the electric and hydrogen powered cars needed, and every one will come running into Uncle Gore’s open arms to buy one of his newfangled eco-friendly autos. The question you are probably thinking right now is “What’s in it for the Morlocks?” The answer is simple; the Morlocks, besides running the climate control mechanisms in the middle of earth, have always had a propensity for crafting stylish and functional dash boards and center columns. Few people know that companies like BMW and Volvo have been using Morlock designed interiors for decades. The Morlocks and Gore won’t hammer out the automotive supply contract until at least step 7. For step 4, Gore has a Thursday morning meeting at the moon base that houses the tractor beam that keeps our distance from the sun constant, and I am sure there are some administrative steps after that to take care of.
If you don’t believe any of this just you wait, if the moon meeting goes well as planned, this should be a rather hot weekend.
Pee Wee Herman has something very important to say about crack.
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