Six Foot Four and Made of Muscles

This might be the best article ever written.




I think that I have posted something by this guy before. I want to say that it was a video with a song about the fact that the video was only 30 seconds long… or something to that fact. Anyway, once again this fine gent is gracing toddsift with yet another annoying ditty that can be summed up with the onomatopoeia…Boioioioioioioioioioi!


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I seldom feel sorry for people, for the most part they seem to deserve the shit that happens to them. Until recently I might have said the same about goats, but the tribulations of Ed and Bob here nearly broke my heart (no animals were harmed in the making of this video).


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And finally here is 15 seconds of your life that will never make sense again.


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Cheese

The Following is a Special Presentation of a previously never before released toddsift post. The reason why this post never made it to toddsift is complicated, but basically it comes down to problems with HTML code. If you are unaware of what HTML code is do not fret, because ironically the main topic of the post is about HTML code and issues that can arrise from its use.

-todd

The name of this post is Cheese. That much I assume you could glean from the large font title up there. The real philosophical enigma is why did I title this post Cheese? The short answer is I didn’t. I needed to save this file because I knew I was never going to finish it yesterday. As most of you have probably experienced, Microsoft Word has a nifty little feature where as it will automatically name your file the first word or phrase in the body of your work. At the time of said save, the first object in the body of this work was the HTML embed code for the video you will find immediately below. If you don’t know anything about HTML embed codes (and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t because after doing this blog thing for almost a year, I still don’t know much of anything about HTML embed codes), they start with

a line that says… ... this is followed by all sorts of good old computer type stuff that tells your computer how to present the hand selected grade A premium WTF that I have chosen for you that day. So anyway, here I was making the save that I knew that I needed to make because I knew that I would never get around to finishing this post, and Microsoft Word decided for the reasons that I just explained to give me the option to name my file…

I didn’t feel comfortable withbeing the save name of this post for many reasons, some of which I will list here.

1. Aesthetically, I found it displeasing. looks as if I was attempting to make some sort of cobbled together graphical representation of a spear (Zulu Assegai style possibly).

2. begs the question, “What does less than object width actually equal?” Looking at the code one can see the answer is “540”, but I cannot assume that any one would ever look at the code to find out what the answer is. Not to mention that the less than symbol at the beginning of the code does not actually stand for less than as much as it is a virtual place holder for the HTML code itself.

3. ….Wha…Uh…Sorry I nodded of in the middle of point number 2. I was all, just like, “Blah blah blah…HTML code. Blah blah blah…place holder. Blah blah blah…less than equals”

4. The rising price of linseed oil concerns me.

So for those reasons (among others that I won’t get into due to personal and religious reasons) I decided that I needed to use a different file save name. Cheese was the first word that popped into my head, so Cheese it became.

“But why then did you title this blog post Cheese?” you might find yourself asking right now. As I told you earlier the short answer was that I didn’t and I feel that I have taken up far too much of your time with the short answer already, so I will not get into the long answer today. I am sure you understand, and are quite possibly relieved as well.



Video Time!!!


This is nothing but good old fashioned silliness. Sometimes good old fashioned silliness is just what this world needs.



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How many takes did they need for this line to be delivered straight-faced?



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CHALLENGE!!!

Personally I enjoyed every last minute of this video, but then again I am not normal.




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Lasers Say Pew Pew Pew!

Great, just great! Now that I can’t smoke laser printers anymore, what ever will I do to settle my stomach after eating a large meal of compact disc players?

Here is today’s WTF

I don’t speak Spanish; this song, titled “Hijo de Puta”, could be completely offensive for those of you who do speak Spanish. I really don’t care; I just thought that I would warn you. For those of you who speak non-Spanish the title of the song is roughly translated as “Son of a Whore”, although I have heard far more crass definitions for the word Puta.



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It seems to me that I am finding more and more music videos these days that defy explanation. This is one of those videos. Stick around to the end the crescendo is simply delicious.



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I hate people who use food descriptors to describe non-food items…

…but not nearly as much as I would hate Yompi. Watch and I think that you would agree.



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Future-Slut

If you spend enough time on the internet you will come across the phenomenon of hilariously misplaced web ads. I was searching for a starting point story for my blog and I came across a quaint little article about the Girl Guides. For you non-parents of Girl Scouts (as well as all you non-pedophiles), Girl Guides are the original UK inspiration for those cookie hawking vested wee ladies that clog your local grocery store entrance every year. Here you see, is the title of the article.




As you can see from the opening paragraph, the Girl Guides are concerned about the damage to girls’ self-image as a result of constant exposure to airbrushed beauties (not to mention knife crime, but that will not come into play today). This is a noble quest (although most likely fruitless as we humans naturally will always crave a pinnacle of perfection). The real treat comes in the form of the ads placed around this article, ads such as this banner.



As if that ad weren’t counterproductive enough there is always the slew of sidebar links that you can follow to see more salacious content.



This is just another example of why the unregulated, unedited, inattentive internet will always be a source of good old WTF

Speaking of WTF here is some goodies for you kiddies.

First up is a music video that I found yesterday, but didn’t get around to posting until today.


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A translation may make this more comprehendible, but I doubt it would be any less strange.


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What do children singing, eggs, and Queen’s We Will Rock You have in common? Absolutely nothing…this is why you will find them all here on toddsift.


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