It's Monday and keeping with a somewhat tradition I am going to be very brief. Is todays only video a CHALLENGE!!!? Yes in a way it is, but then again most things that I find are difficult to make it all the way through. I think the reason that this is not a true CHALLENGE!!! is because, there is just to many things to think about while you are viewing this video, allowing you to be distracted enough to endure longer than you would if there were nothing to ponder. These are the thought that crossed my mind.
1. Is there a large quantity of horse head masks circulating Asia at all times?
2. Do the skirts help these boys channel the dance in the same way a good method actor might spend months of research before taking on a role?
3. If the answer to question 2. is yes, than is the who is the horse-headed gent channeling?
4. Is it wrong that I am slightly turned on?
5. HORSE HEAD?!?!?!?!?
via videosift.com
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
ragum fragum mothum grumble
Frequently my utter distain for humanity is refreshed anew when I read stories such as the one that can be found here.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2008/06/nbc-resolves-la.html
There are very few times that you will find me standing on the side of civil litigation, and that story is the reason why. Sure small claims court serves a good purpose, and every once and a while a grand injustice can be brought to light via a civil case, but it seems that the trend of most cases leans toward frivolous money grubbing. Now before you call me cruel, I can understand that the plaintiff lost someone dear to her, and she feels that if NBC had not created an artificial situation her brother would still be alive…OH WAIT! Go ahead and call me cruel because this woman deserves absolutely nothing. Let us review the situation that led her to her grief. Her twisted brother was the one to respond and pursue an individual with the full assumption that they were under age, and he was also the one to take his own life. I fail to see how a multi-million dollar news corporation can be held accountable for this situation. But that is exactly the point isn’t it, NBC is a multi-million dollar news corporation with an extreme concern over public image. Had a group of concerned citizens without deep pockets ensnared her brother in a similar trap, I severely doubt there would be litigation at all. I certainly hope that she enjoys her $105 million. I would have to assume that she plans on spending the money on some sort of machine to bring her brother back from the dead, as well as cure him from the pedophilia, because quite frankly that is the only thing that will actually help her cope with the loss.
Crap, now I know why people like George Carlin die so young, anger takes a lot out of you.
Dark, offensive, crudely animated humor is good for the soul.
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!
Yes this is painful to look at, yes this is painful to listen to, and yes that is a dude.
via videosift.com
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2008/06/nbc-resolves-la.html
There are very few times that you will find me standing on the side of civil litigation, and that story is the reason why. Sure small claims court serves a good purpose, and every once and a while a grand injustice can be brought to light via a civil case, but it seems that the trend of most cases leans toward frivolous money grubbing. Now before you call me cruel, I can understand that the plaintiff lost someone dear to her, and she feels that if NBC had not created an artificial situation her brother would still be alive…OH WAIT! Go ahead and call me cruel because this woman deserves absolutely nothing. Let us review the situation that led her to her grief. Her twisted brother was the one to respond and pursue an individual with the full assumption that they were under age, and he was also the one to take his own life. I fail to see how a multi-million dollar news corporation can be held accountable for this situation. But that is exactly the point isn’t it, NBC is a multi-million dollar news corporation with an extreme concern over public image. Had a group of concerned citizens without deep pockets ensnared her brother in a similar trap, I severely doubt there would be litigation at all. I certainly hope that she enjoys her $105 million. I would have to assume that she plans on spending the money on some sort of machine to bring her brother back from the dead, as well as cure him from the pedophilia, because quite frankly that is the only thing that will actually help her cope with the loss.
Crap, now I know why people like George Carlin die so young, anger takes a lot out of you.
Dark, offensive, crudely animated humor is good for the soul.
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!
Yes this is painful to look at, yes this is painful to listen to, and yes that is a dude.
via videosift.com
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Abracadabra
So if you haven’t heard yet, Billy’s commercial was pulled from the local airwaves. If you don’t know who Billy is or what commercial I am talking about, follow this link.
http://www.majicwindow.com/video_laugh4.php
Billy is a coworker and friend, and those are his creamy white thighs. I find it to be an outrage that this ad was banished into a world of obscurity because it made a few sad individuals blush. I think that the more the world is exposed to Billy’s supple fleshy parts, the greater chance there is for world peace. Yes indeed, Billy’s buttery smooth scintillating exposed corpus can make the hate of the world melt away if only we would let it. So I say shame on you to the complainers! I say shame on you to the Mort Crim worshipers! I say shame on you Majic Windows for denying the world a chance to advance to a more peaceful paradigm! From this day forward we shouldn’t shun that which is Billy’s baby smooth alabaster abs. We should fully embrace his deliciously decadent silken flesh.
It especially bothers me that a commercial of that quality gets pulled, when commercials of this quality prowled our Detroit airwaves.
As a parent this kind of humor is a bit difficult for me, but I refuse to be hypocritical about it. It is, after all, just comedic satire.
http://www.majicwindow.com/video_laugh4.php
Billy is a coworker and friend, and those are his creamy white thighs. I find it to be an outrage that this ad was banished into a world of obscurity because it made a few sad individuals blush. I think that the more the world is exposed to Billy’s supple fleshy parts, the greater chance there is for world peace. Yes indeed, Billy’s buttery smooth scintillating exposed corpus can make the hate of the world melt away if only we would let it. So I say shame on you to the complainers! I say shame on you to the Mort Crim worshipers! I say shame on you Majic Windows for denying the world a chance to advance to a more peaceful paradigm! From this day forward we shouldn’t shun that which is Billy’s baby smooth alabaster abs. We should fully embrace his deliciously decadent silken flesh.
It especially bothers me that a commercial of that quality gets pulled, when commercials of this quality prowled our Detroit airwaves.
As a parent this kind of humor is a bit difficult for me, but I refuse to be hypocritical about it. It is, after all, just comedic satire.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Put Your Fronds Up
It appears that the wells of WTF are rather dry today, or perhaps I am just too lazy to put forth the effort that I usually do. Either way here is one measly video for you. This single video, however, does the one thing a good WTF should do, it creates questions in your mind. Questions like: Why use a palm tree to rob that convenience store, wasn’t there a stick or a rock more available? Is this fellow from the same group of daring villains that I posted last week, the ones daunted by a locked door? Is a stool the natural enemy of the palm tree, therefore the best weapon in the store clerk’s arsenal to combat this leafy felon? We may never have the answers to these questions, and that is something that we will just have to live with.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Holy Frozen Poop Bearman
I will have to keep it brief; there is a possibility that I may have to do some real work today. Here is the WTF.
I knew that there had to be more uses for canned air, you can freeze poop with it.
My childhood is ruined by this video; apparently the Hulk was not real. He was just some big deaf guy painted green. If only he had fought that bear on dry land, the paint would have never come off, and I still could have lived the fantasy!
Plus I hope the bear is O.K.! That was quite a throw.
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!!
This one was sent to me by, my brother-in-law, Jose. He also is the one who found the Klaus Nomi videos, I worry about him.
I did manage to sit through the whole thing some how.
I knew that there had to be more uses for canned air, you can freeze poop with it.
My childhood is ruined by this video; apparently the Hulk was not real. He was just some big deaf guy painted green. If only he had fought that bear on dry land, the paint would have never come off, and I still could have lived the fantasy!
Plus I hope the bear is O.K.! That was quite a throw.
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!!
This one was sent to me by, my brother-in-law, Jose. He also is the one who found the Klaus Nomi videos, I worry about him.
I did manage to sit through the whole thing some how.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thighmaster
Here is your experiment of the day (or night rather…or next few months if dedicated).
Tonight at 7:59pm the summer solstice begins. I suggest that you find a comfortable room in you house. Find the southern wall of that house and beginning at 7:59pm start jumping up and down. With any luck, and skillful jumping, you should enjoy the fact that you are traveling north through the room at the same rate that the earth's axis is tilting. Continue this though September and you can enjoy the full fruits of this experiment. If you do find yourself still hoping in September, and you are wondering how you will ever reach that sandwich you left on the south side of the room again, don’t worry you’ll get there in March.
If you are wondering how you are going to pass the time between now and 7:59 pm I suggest you watch the following videos in continuous loop until then.
This one dumbfounds me for the simple reason that I cannot figure out what these would be criminals thought they were going to encounter. It is usually called a break-in because you are expected to break in.
via videosift.com
Beware the Wewos
This video had like 5 million hits on Youtube. I hadn’t seen it so that means you have not seen it either, and if you have, tough, because you can see it again.
Tonight at 7:59pm the summer solstice begins. I suggest that you find a comfortable room in you house. Find the southern wall of that house and beginning at 7:59pm start jumping up and down. With any luck, and skillful jumping, you should enjoy the fact that you are traveling north through the room at the same rate that the earth's axis is tilting. Continue this though September and you can enjoy the full fruits of this experiment. If you do find yourself still hoping in September, and you are wondering how you will ever reach that sandwich you left on the south side of the room again, don’t worry you’ll get there in March.
If you are wondering how you are going to pass the time between now and 7:59 pm I suggest you watch the following videos in continuous loop until then.
This one dumbfounds me for the simple reason that I cannot figure out what these would be criminals thought they were going to encounter. It is usually called a break-in because you are expected to break in.
via videosift.com
Beware the Wewos
This video had like 5 million hits on Youtube. I hadn’t seen it so that means you have not seen it either, and if you have, tough, because you can see it again.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
There is a Blues Traveler Song that is Quite Similar in Context
The following are three summations of news articles that I read on the internet today:
There is a man from Virginia who lost 86 pounds by eating nothing but McDonalds.
A group of seven students moved out of their University of Pennsylvania Apartment, but left behind a human skull.
In Japan there is a new trend in pornography, it is called Elder Porn.
The following are three summations of news articles that I imagined out of thin air today:
Wisconsin man cashes in lottery ticket only to find out that he is married to his sister.
Chinese National Zoo announced new panda birth, cub to be named Flung Pu.
German study finds link between hard core pornography and longevity.
So what is my point? To be honest I have no point. This really is all just and illusion anyway, just some text at the top of my post to make it seem like I took my time with today’s entry. The truly ironic part is that it actually did take me a great deal of time trying to come up with absolutely nothing to say. It probably took me longer to specifically look up weird internet articles than it would have taken me to just sit down, think of a topic with a good jumping off point, and then written about it. Now that I am thinking about it I certainly hope that all of you appreciate the fact that I put so much time and effort into appearing that I was writing a post when I could have just written a post like every other lazy ass blogger out there. I would like you to send me little gifts of appreciation for all the hard work that I put into not putting in hard work. Feel free to drop them off to me at my desk at work, or my home. I appreciate cash, Non-American Beer, and cash.
Did I mention that I appreciate cash?
IT’S VIDEO TIME!!!!!
Here is a compilation of some rather WTF animated gifs (personally I pronounce it gifs and not gifs like some people) mixed with some classic internet clips.
via videosift.com
It is amazing when you recall all of the television shows that have been since the dawn of television less than century ago. It is not so amazing when some of them don’t make a long run.
via videosift.com
NSFW and NSFPWAAOPUAPD
That would translate to Not Safe For Work and Not Safe For People Who Are Afraid Of Penises Used As Propulsion Devices.
You might think, Oh what a charming video with brightly colored animation, but wait long enough for the horse cult and the unicorn with eye lasers to show up and you will be singing a different tune.
via videosift.com
I have decided to sell my X Box 360 and all of its games so that I can get a chance to get on line with all the kids and mark territory by urinating.
Confused? Watch this and be even more confused.
via videosift.com
There is a man from Virginia who lost 86 pounds by eating nothing but McDonalds.
A group of seven students moved out of their University of Pennsylvania Apartment, but left behind a human skull.
In Japan there is a new trend in pornography, it is called Elder Porn.
The following are three summations of news articles that I imagined out of thin air today:
Wisconsin man cashes in lottery ticket only to find out that he is married to his sister.
Chinese National Zoo announced new panda birth, cub to be named Flung Pu.
German study finds link between hard core pornography and longevity.
So what is my point? To be honest I have no point. This really is all just and illusion anyway, just some text at the top of my post to make it seem like I took my time with today’s entry. The truly ironic part is that it actually did take me a great deal of time trying to come up with absolutely nothing to say. It probably took me longer to specifically look up weird internet articles than it would have taken me to just sit down, think of a topic with a good jumping off point, and then written about it. Now that I am thinking about it I certainly hope that all of you appreciate the fact that I put so much time and effort into appearing that I was writing a post when I could have just written a post like every other lazy ass blogger out there. I would like you to send me little gifts of appreciation for all the hard work that I put into not putting in hard work. Feel free to drop them off to me at my desk at work, or my home. I appreciate cash, Non-American Beer, and cash.
Did I mention that I appreciate cash?
IT’S VIDEO TIME!!!!!
Here is a compilation of some rather WTF animated gifs (personally I pronounce it gifs and not gifs like some people) mixed with some classic internet clips.
via videosift.com
It is amazing when you recall all of the television shows that have been since the dawn of television less than century ago. It is not so amazing when some of them don’t make a long run.
via videosift.com
NSFW and NSFPWAAOPUAPD
That would translate to Not Safe For Work and Not Safe For People Who Are Afraid Of Penises Used As Propulsion Devices.
You might think, Oh what a charming video with brightly colored animation, but wait long enough for the horse cult and the unicorn with eye lasers to show up and you will be singing a different tune.
via videosift.com
I have decided to sell my X Box 360 and all of its games so that I can get a chance to get on line with all the kids and mark territory by urinating.
Confused? Watch this and be even more confused.
via videosift.com
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Highlander
There is a single video today for one reason alone. That is because I could not possibly post anything else that would top today’s find. Every ounce of WTF was sucked dry from the rest of the internet today and poured forth into this single clip. I would say off hand that this video is NSFW, but I honestly believe that anyone witnessing it would be so confused by its rich tapestry of peculiarity that they would move immediately into a state of consciousness that is beyond offendability (a state of consciousness that also includes made up words like offendability and shocktasticness). To brace you for what you are about to see, consider the following topics of thought.
How does one make a seven foot tall column of Cheetos?
Do the purple socks help inflame the passion, or were they just a random wardrobe choice that day?
What sort of gift was originally given in that gift bag on his head?
Because this was taped in such high quality and continues for nearly 9 minutes, was this video’s end intention to be used as a masturbatory tool, and the act itself was not arousing, but instead the watching of oneself in such a manor the key to sexual gratification?
Will he be able to get the orange cheese residue off of his taint?
via videosift.com
How does one make a seven foot tall column of Cheetos?
Do the purple socks help inflame the passion, or were they just a random wardrobe choice that day?
What sort of gift was originally given in that gift bag on his head?
Because this was taped in such high quality and continues for nearly 9 minutes, was this video’s end intention to be used as a masturbatory tool, and the act itself was not arousing, but instead the watching of oneself in such a manor the key to sexual gratification?
Will he be able to get the orange cheese residue off of his taint?
via videosift.com
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
If Only I Knew How to Print
So I was sitting here blankly staring at a Microsoft Word Document trying to ponder what to rant about today. I was not having a whole lot of luck coming up with a topic until I looked over and saw this.
I had never really paid that close of attention to how incredibly helpful Microsoft has become. Seriously look at those perks to using Office Online. Not only can you connect, but you can get the latest news about using Word. I can only imagine the twitter of excitement that comes with being able to hear the latest news about typing in a word processing program. I bet there are all sorts of riveting headlines out there like; Man Bends Pinky Nail While Attempting an End Parenthesis, or even Study Finds Link Between Sidebar Scrolling and Illiteracy. I wouldn’t be surprised to see an entire cable news network created just to handle all the latest and greatest Word Processing News crop up in the near future, perhaps MSNBC was just a starting point. The only thing topping the bullet point about getting the latest news is the bullet point promising the possibility of more bullet points automatically. And of course we can all sleep soundly knowing that Microsoft is there protecting us from our own ignorance. It is fairly obvious that they believe their end users are a bunch helmet wearing, slack mouthed droolers without the common sense to figure out how to print more than one copy of a document.
Thank you Bill Gates for being smart enough for us all.
I realize that we have it really good in America. A lot of the things we do can be considered the best that the world has to offer. I figured that that sentiment fit well our boy bands until I saw this video. N’Sync and Backstreet Boys have nothing on this Russian wonder group.
via videosift.com
I have toyed with putting this video up for a long time. It has always made me smile and believe me it is worth watching the whole thing.
via videosift.com
I had never really paid that close of attention to how incredibly helpful Microsoft has become. Seriously look at those perks to using Office Online. Not only can you connect, but you can get the latest news about using Word. I can only imagine the twitter of excitement that comes with being able to hear the latest news about typing in a word processing program. I bet there are all sorts of riveting headlines out there like; Man Bends Pinky Nail While Attempting an End Parenthesis, or even Study Finds Link Between Sidebar Scrolling and Illiteracy. I wouldn’t be surprised to see an entire cable news network created just to handle all the latest and greatest Word Processing News crop up in the near future, perhaps MSNBC was just a starting point. The only thing topping the bullet point about getting the latest news is the bullet point promising the possibility of more bullet points automatically. And of course we can all sleep soundly knowing that Microsoft is there protecting us from our own ignorance. It is fairly obvious that they believe their end users are a bunch helmet wearing, slack mouthed droolers without the common sense to figure out how to print more than one copy of a document.
Thank you Bill Gates for being smart enough for us all.
I realize that we have it really good in America. A lot of the things we do can be considered the best that the world has to offer. I figured that that sentiment fit well our boy bands until I saw this video. N’Sync and Backstreet Boys have nothing on this Russian wonder group.
via videosift.com
I have toyed with putting this video up for a long time. It has always made me smile and believe me it is worth watching the whole thing.
via videosift.com
Monday, June 16, 2008
Smut and Pugs
Scientists from the Imperial College of London are claiming that life on our planet did not originate on earth. They say that the molecules needed to create DNA actually arrived here on meteorites. I am wondering if this research was funded by the “Church” of Scientology or possibly even those nutty Mormons. I don’t know and I don’t have time to speculate because I am way too busy trying to wrap my brain around today’s videos.
First up is a video that is a tad on the NSFW side due to its suggestive smuttiness. It was discovered by Andy and Mike. I watched it twice and still have no idea if it supposed to be scintillating, humorous, or just plain artsy.
Mike then pointed me down a deeper path of confusion with this one. This is one of many videos staring Roller Chester.
First up is a video that is a tad on the NSFW side due to its suggestive smuttiness. It was discovered by Andy and Mike. I watched it twice and still have no idea if it supposed to be scintillating, humorous, or just plain artsy.
Mike then pointed me down a deeper path of confusion with this one. This is one of many videos staring Roller Chester.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Breaking Mirrors
It’s Friday the 13th and I am too busy rubbing a black cat on my buttocks for good luck to write anything witty today.
Straight to the WTF!
No one was actually a fan of disco; their tight pants just caused incorrect blood flow, starving the brain, and causing irrationality. There is a truly great moment 1:50 into this video.
via videosift.com
I wish that the first minute and a half of this scene was not there. I suggest you scrub that far into this clip to see the best fight scene ever!
via videosift.com
This Day in History
via videosift.com
Straight to the WTF!
No one was actually a fan of disco; their tight pants just caused incorrect blood flow, starving the brain, and causing irrationality. There is a truly great moment 1:50 into this video.
via videosift.com
I wish that the first minute and a half of this scene was not there. I suggest you scrub that far into this clip to see the best fight scene ever!
via videosift.com
This Day in History
via videosift.com
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Two Posts in One Day?!?!?!? (a.k.a. The Return of Old Greg)
Quite a while ago I posted a video called The Legend of Old Greg. This was a sketch from a BBC 3 show called The Mighty Boosh. I thought that I had found the sketch in its entirety (it ended in a song and dance number after all). However I decided that I needed a little pick me up this afternoon so I went to find the clip, only to find that I had merely scratched the surface. Here in its completeness is The Legend of Old Greg (including the first part I had already posted).
Part 1
Part 2 (the best part)
Part 3
UPDATE!!!
It turns out that clip one is not actually the very begining of the show, there is yet another piece floating around out there, but you can find it on your own you lazy bastards. 06/18/08
Part 1
Part 2 (the best part)
Part 3
UPDATE!!!
It turns out that clip one is not actually the very begining of the show, there is yet another piece floating around out there, but you can find it on your own you lazy bastards. 06/18/08
Damn the B-52s
So if you haven’t heard, according to House of Yahweh church leader Yisrayl Hawkins, today will be the first day of global nuclear war. I seriously hope that this wacky cult leader is wrong (as he has ironically been a couple times in the past). For you see, today is my birthday and I don’t want to spend it in you typical nuclear holocaustic ways. I have no desire to be vaporized, or worse, left as an irradiated brain-lusting zombie. I was kind of looking forward to maybe having a steak dinner with my family, drinking a few beers tonight, and rounding the day out by playing a little Grand Theft Auto 4. I do suppose that if the bombs start a’droppin’ that I would rather fall into the prior category of victim rather than the later. I think being vaporized would be something akin to walking out of your pleasantly air conditioned house into a sizzling August afternoon…ya know, but like times a billion. The worst part would be the fact that burnt hair would most likely be the last thing you would smell, and that would be like eating an entire bag of pistachios just to end on that one shriveled bitter one…man I hate that. Speaking of pistachios, I have noticed that as of late, they don’t seem to sell the red dyed ones anymore. They probably stopped because the red dye causes cancer or something. Don’t they feel silly now seeing that cancer won’t matter much to the nuked grey matter munchers that will roam the desolate earth after today? Put that one in your pipe and smoke it Germack!
This video is generally considered to be the internet’s version of MTV’s Video Killed the Radio Star video; the original. However I had never seen it until today and it is truly such a vintage piece of WTF that I thought it deserved a spot on this sacred ground.
via videosift.com
This is a mixture of schlock and crap, but even as so it is fucked up enough to make the grade today.
via videosift.com
This video is actually very long, almost 29 minutes long, but if you have the connection speed and time I highly recommend it. The Day Today is its name and it is a brilliant British news parody.
via videosift.com
This video is generally considered to be the internet’s version of MTV’s Video Killed the Radio Star video; the original. However I had never seen it until today and it is truly such a vintage piece of WTF that I thought it deserved a spot on this sacred ground.
via videosift.com
This is a mixture of schlock and crap, but even as so it is fucked up enough to make the grade today.
via videosift.com
This video is actually very long, almost 29 minutes long, but if you have the connection speed and time I highly recommend it. The Day Today is its name and it is a brilliant British news parody.
via videosift.com
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
My Soapbox is 99.44% Pure, ¼ Moisturizer, and Leaves you Clean as a Whistle
Somewhere just over decades ago a band named Metallica was formed way out in that kooky land called California. This was a time when your average band wore women’s makeup and did copious amounts of blow off the backsides of groupies. Metallica, much like punk rock of the late 70s and early 80s, represented the counter-culture of music. With politicized lyrics and a steady thrumming of metal they soon found their way into the cassette decks of just about every white kid who drove a firebird and thought that they had something to prove. Jump forward a decade and Metallica releases their “black” album and finds excessive commercial success. Suddenly the fore mentioned white kid’s mothers and fathers, who previously found themselves yelling “Turn that noise down”, are now listening to select tracks from this group. This began the turning point for Metallica. As file share sites like Napster hit their popularity high points in the late 1990s, drummer Lars Ulrich hit his bellyaching high point. Obviously the millions of dollars earned by playing music were not enough to offset the devastating losses of potential earnings that file sharing incurred. Despite the first warning signs of douche baggery, the band remained fairly successful during this time. That is until Bassist Jason Newsted left in 2001, and then the self indulgent pity party started go get underway. In 2004 the band released the documentary; Some Kind of Monster in which the audience was subjected to pathetic narcissistic droll on how difficult it is to be Metallica. As if that wasn’t bad enough, not long after, Front-man and Guitarist James Hetfield checked himself into rehab for alcohol abuse. Here are men that sang about living hard and dying young not just 20 years before acting like the old crotchety seniors that they spent their youth trying to piss off. The final straw, in my opinion, was from an event that happened very recently. Metallica invited a handful of members of the press to listen to a few tracks of their soon to be released album. There were no nondisclosure agreements signed by the journalists, but as soon as the press started to print reviews of the sample tracks Metallica went berserk and demanded that reviews and blogs be taken down. It sometimes pains me to see all of the hypocrisy of the world. I realize that even I, as perfect as I am, am not immune to saying one thing and then doing another, but if I ever get to the point where this blog becomes mainstream, you dear reader have the right to shoot me…preferably with something soft like a nerf or a ping pong ball gun…and not at the eyes…or the genitals.
Enough with the bitching already, here is the WTF
Dr. Tran Returns
via videosift.com
Here is one of those mainstream moments that you are aloud to shoot me for. I couldn’t resists this Bill O’Reilly Flip Out Remix
via videosift.com
House of Cosbys Episode 2
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!
Not only do I defy you to sit through this whole thing, but I want you to explain to me what the fishsticks is going on here.
via videosift.com
Enough with the bitching already, here is the WTF
Dr. Tran Returns
via videosift.com
Here is one of those mainstream moments that you are aloud to shoot me for. I couldn’t resists this Bill O’Reilly Flip Out Remix
via videosift.com
House of Cosbys Episode 2
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!
Not only do I defy you to sit through this whole thing, but I want you to explain to me what the fishsticks is going on here.
via videosift.com
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The High Adventures of Reynold the Sleep Stealing Gnome
I just can’t shake the sleepies today. I have yawned at least 20 times in the last 15 minutes. The odd part is that I went to bed at a reasonable time last night. This leads me to believe that Reynold is up to his usual tricks again. The last time he blew into town his excuse was that he needed the sleep essence to save his family farm, but my guess was that he needed it to pay off his bookies. I keep telling him he is going to go one of two ways; the mafia or the sauce. In the mid 90s it got so bad that we actually had an intervention for him, he feigned interest and checked into rehab. Of course less than two weeks later he was out on the streets again, shooting dice and drinking Mad Dog from a paper cup. In the end I guess he will just have to hit rock bottom on his own. I just hope he doesn’t end up like Lenny the Snore Catching Gnome. Lenny ran into some bad shit with the Columbians. I don’t think that I have ever seen so much blood as I did the day we found Lenny in that down town apartment. The only reason I was there in the first place was Reynold had lost his driver’s license. He claimed he needed a ride to an A.A. meeting, but when we got to the apartment it was pretty obvious he was going there to borrow money from Lenny. It was also pretty obvious that Reynold wasn’t going to get any money that day. For that to have happened Lenny would have had to have money…or a head. No one ever found either.
I cannot claim that my childhood cartoons were wholesome, but a cartoon coyote falling off of a cliff is fluff in comparison to this scene from the very popular Anime series One Piece.
via videosift.com
Perhaps being tired has made me a little more juvenile today, but if you can make it past the lowbrow fart humor this actually has quite the coherent plot. Then again you might be all about the lowbrow fart humor, either way enjoy.
via videosift.com
UPDATE!!!
Andy was moved by this post, here is an email he sent to me as a result.
So I was surfing around and got to the part of my day where I go to toddsift. I read your post about the Gnomes and thier troubles, and it touched me in a way that stirred my soul. I felt the need to reach out and show the world the truly dark side of Gnomes. The side of Gnomes that you so poetically spoke of, the types of gnomes that hide in the shadows. So I travelled at great risk to the mighty temple of the world's knowledge and presumtions... google. I looked through the dark recesses of google to find the sad story I was looking for. Gnomes that had gone bad and no longer proudly guard the lawns and gardens of old people and shire-philes the world around. These Gnomes, these once proud protectors of tulips and daisies have seen rock bottom, lost in a foggy world of derelect and inner pain.
I have documented them, please help the Gnomes. For only pennies a day. They are relying on you to help elevate them back to the gardens and pottery stores they belong in.
--
Andy
I cannot claim that my childhood cartoons were wholesome, but a cartoon coyote falling off of a cliff is fluff in comparison to this scene from the very popular Anime series One Piece.
via videosift.com
Perhaps being tired has made me a little more juvenile today, but if you can make it past the lowbrow fart humor this actually has quite the coherent plot. Then again you might be all about the lowbrow fart humor, either way enjoy.
via videosift.com
UPDATE!!!
Andy was moved by this post, here is an email he sent to me as a result.
So I was surfing around and got to the part of my day where I go to toddsift. I read your post about the Gnomes and thier troubles, and it touched me in a way that stirred my soul. I felt the need to reach out and show the world the truly dark side of Gnomes. The side of Gnomes that you so poetically spoke of, the types of gnomes that hide in the shadows. So I travelled at great risk to the mighty temple of the world's knowledge and presumtions... google. I looked through the dark recesses of google to find the sad story I was looking for. Gnomes that had gone bad and no longer proudly guard the lawns and gardens of old people and shire-philes the world around. These Gnomes, these once proud protectors of tulips and daisies have seen rock bottom, lost in a foggy world of derelect and inner pain.
I have documented them, please help the Gnomes. For only pennies a day. They are relying on you to help elevate them back to the gardens and pottery stores they belong in.
--
Andy
Monday, June 9, 2008
Booze; Good for the Soul, Bad for the Heart
The American Heart Association made a shocking discovery lately. They have determined that drinking large amount of alcohol is bad for your health (see here http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1703763_1703764_1703943,00.html). I think that I am going to set up the American WTF Association. I will collect donations, get government funds, and solicit companies so that I can afford to do my own studies. I might start with trying to determine the effects of licking high tension power lines, or possibly the results of eating glass. I can only imagine the countless discoveries that I might make in the name of human progress. Who knows, after enough studies of the completely obvious, I might even be able to find the cure for something really nasty like heart disease or something.
Now for the vids
My cousin Kris showed me this beauty this weekend. I am going to guess that the inspiration for this music video was not drugs…yeah… not drugs.
Sign this woman up for the next Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton
via videosift.com
Fabulous Star Wars
via videosift.com
It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t include the Japanese in some capacity.
via videosift.com
Here was someone’s last day on the job.
via videosift.com
Now for the vids
My cousin Kris showed me this beauty this weekend. I am going to guess that the inspiration for this music video was not drugs…yeah… not drugs.
Sign this woman up for the next Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton
via videosift.com
Fabulous Star Wars
via videosift.com
It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t include the Japanese in some capacity.
via videosift.com
Here was someone’s last day on the job.
via videosift.com
Friday, June 6, 2008
Death, Rebirth, and Cartwheels
The man that invented the Pringles can recently died, as you might have guessed he was cremated and buried in a Pringles can. At first I thought that this was brilliant, but then I became saddened when I realized the big opportunity that had been missed. Why stop with simply putting his ashes in the can, when his family could have mixed them with a few choice ingredients, lightly fried them and make him into a nifty stack of Man-Pringles. Grief can make us miss some of the best chances in life.
If you think that I am off base with my concept of Man-Pringles, check out the body part bread this Korean artist/baker creates. As Billy noted; the kiddies can never get enough of the peanut butter and face sandwiches.
via videosift.com
I like many have been waiting for the resurgence of Steven Segal’s career…the wait is over.
via videosift.com
As a kid my parents were rather strict on what movies my brother and I could watch. I used to be resentful, but after seeing the trailer for Saturn 3 I am glad my childhood was spared such pain.
via videosift.com
I think that if I were to try cart wheeling my arms would snap like dry vermicelli under the weight of my spherical midsection.
via videosift.com
If you think that I am off base with my concept of Man-Pringles, check out the body part bread this Korean artist/baker creates. As Billy noted; the kiddies can never get enough of the peanut butter and face sandwiches.
via videosift.com
I like many have been waiting for the resurgence of Steven Segal’s career…the wait is over.
via videosift.com
As a kid my parents were rather strict on what movies my brother and I could watch. I used to be resentful, but after seeing the trailer for Saturn 3 I am glad my childhood was spared such pain.
via videosift.com
I think that if I were to try cart wheeling my arms would snap like dry vermicelli under the weight of my spherical midsection.
via videosift.com
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Mommy Make it Go Away
I think that the “internets” has officially gone insane. I stumbled across some of the most bizarre clips today. I even found a clip that I debated long and hard over. Seriously this video completely normalizes Horse-headed-naked-Japanese-guy cooking mushrooms. There has only been one video that I have refused to post due to extremity, and that was Penis Puppetry due mostly in part to its penis puppetry, and this one almost took that same route. In the end I figure that we are all adults here, or kids pretending to be adults, and who am I to deny the grown ups the chance to melt their brains.
But first here are some choice messes that won’t melt your brain, well at least not too much.
Do You Want a Banana?
via videosift.com
Local commercials are the best, or at least they are right in line after European commercials and Japanese commercials. Either way this one will give you all the anal pleasure you can stand.
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!
Seriously…There are times that I just don’t understand why things like these two videos happen.
I was never really part of the X-Files crowd, but I can say with most certainty that I don’t believe that even the most die hard X-Files fan would enjoy this. I survived the first 2 minutes of this one.
via videosift.com
This is just terrible on purpose. This kid is an asshole for creating this, and I am an asshole for challenging you to watch it.
via videosift.com
Ok, before we get to the main event Theron found this site and I fully endorse it for its extreme awesomeness, go there when you have some time. Its name says it all.
www.japanesebugfights.com
WARNING!!! AVERTISSIMENT!!! ACHTUNG!!! ADVERTENCIA!!!
I AM SERIOUS; THIS IS ABOUT AS MESSED UP AS THINGS COME. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY IMAGRY OF SPOONFED INVALIDS OR BESTIALITY TURN AWAY NOW. HOWEVER IF YOU ARE DARING ENOUGH TO REALIZE ALL OF THIS IS FAKE AND DONE SPECIFICALLY FOR THE PURPOSES OF SHOCK, THEN BY ALL MEANS DESTROY YOUR PSYCHE LIKE I HAVE.
Here is They Eat Scum.
via videosift.com
WARNING!!! AVERTISSIMENT!!! ACHTUNG!!! ADVERTENCIA!!!
But first here are some choice messes that won’t melt your brain, well at least not too much.
Do You Want a Banana?
via videosift.com
Local commercials are the best, or at least they are right in line after European commercials and Japanese commercials. Either way this one will give you all the anal pleasure you can stand.
via videosift.com
CHALLENGE!!!
Seriously…There are times that I just don’t understand why things like these two videos happen.
I was never really part of the X-Files crowd, but I can say with most certainty that I don’t believe that even the most die hard X-Files fan would enjoy this. I survived the first 2 minutes of this one.
via videosift.com
This is just terrible on purpose. This kid is an asshole for creating this, and I am an asshole for challenging you to watch it.
via videosift.com
Ok, before we get to the main event Theron found this site and I fully endorse it for its extreme awesomeness, go there when you have some time. Its name says it all.
www.japanesebugfights.com
WARNING!!! AVERTISSIMENT!!! ACHTUNG!!! ADVERTENCIA!!!
I AM SERIOUS; THIS IS ABOUT AS MESSED UP AS THINGS COME. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY IMAGRY OF SPOONFED INVALIDS OR BESTIALITY TURN AWAY NOW. HOWEVER IF YOU ARE DARING ENOUGH TO REALIZE ALL OF THIS IS FAKE AND DONE SPECIFICALLY FOR THE PURPOSES OF SHOCK, THEN BY ALL MEANS DESTROY YOUR PSYCHE LIKE I HAVE.
Here is They Eat Scum.
via videosift.com
WARNING!!! AVERTISSIMENT!!! ACHTUNG!!! ADVERTENCIA!!!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Morlocks Rock
Somewhere deep within the earth’s core Al Gore is meeting with his super secret panel. This meeting is about step 3 of Al Gore’s master plan to become the richest man in the world. Step one was to partner with the “green” minded investment company Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers. Step two was the release of environmental shock-umentary An Inconvenient Truth. Step three (the one currently underway) meet with the Morlocks in the center of the earth to persuade them to adjust the surface oil pressure. With the oil slowed to a trickle gas prices will rise. The general populous, feeling the squeeze on their pocketbooks, will turn from the gas guzzling SUVs. The American car companies being slow to change won’t be ready to produce the electric and hydrogen powered cars needed, and every one will come running into Uncle Gore’s open arms to buy one of his newfangled eco-friendly autos. The question you are probably thinking right now is “What’s in it for the Morlocks?” The answer is simple; the Morlocks, besides running the climate control mechanisms in the middle of earth, have always had a propensity for crafting stylish and functional dash boards and center columns. Few people know that companies like BMW and Volvo have been using Morlock designed interiors for decades. The Morlocks and Gore won’t hammer out the automotive supply contract until at least step 7. For step 4, Gore has a Thursday morning meeting at the moon base that houses the tractor beam that keeps our distance from the sun constant, and I am sure there are some administrative steps after that to take care of.
If you don’t believe any of this just you wait, if the moon meeting goes well as planned, this should be a rather hot weekend.
Pee Wee Herman has something very important to say about crack.
via videosift.com
As long as there are guns in this country I think that it would be only wise for everyone to be versed in their proper safety and handling. However I am not sure that training needs to be started at 2.
via videosift.com
This is really f-ing creepy. Even creepier is the fact that there is an episode of Spongebob Squarepants with a very similar storyline.
via videosift.com
If you don’t believe any of this just you wait, if the moon meeting goes well as planned, this should be a rather hot weekend.
Pee Wee Herman has something very important to say about crack.
via videosift.com
As long as there are guns in this country I think that it would be only wise for everyone to be versed in their proper safety and handling. However I am not sure that training needs to be started at 2.
via videosift.com
This is really f-ing creepy. Even creepier is the fact that there is an episode of Spongebob Squarepants with a very similar storyline.
via videosift.com
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Dedicated to Harriet and Sophie
I am a spiritualist and a philosopher, science has never failed me because I don’t believe in science. Now before you think that I am some nut-bag fundamentalist, you should know that my viewpoints are not a result of my faith in God, but more derived from my utter lack of faith in humans. I can appreciate the fruits of scientific discovery; cars, electronics, modern medicine, but don’t expect me to fall in line every time a new study finds a correlation or a physicist names a new atomic sub-particle. Hell, in my mind Pluto is still a planet and it doesn’t matter either way, because I am never going to set foot on it. The point that I am trying to make is this; we as a race are usually wrong. When we first looked up at the heavens we were convinced that we were the center of the universe. Some one came along and figured out that that was wrong simply by watching the stars and planets go by. We were convinced that everything was set in space by this mysterious substance called Ether. That thought was mostly dismissed when we decided that gravity is the universal force that binds us all together. Now there is Dark Energy that is pushing our universe apart in spite of gravity, but no one can explain where it comes from and why it hasn’t blown us away like dust. If that weren’t enough, if you ask a modern day physicist where the actual center of the universe is; they will tell you that because space and time are expanding, and mobius in form, there is no center of the universe. As a result, perspective from any given point of the universe (including earth) could be considered the center. I guess we are back to square one.
Sorry for the grumpy post, here are some less bleak videos to smile at, or just be confused by, take your pick.
via videosift.com
Thank the goodness we had the innocence of the 1950’s. Its naivety gave us license to run around naked for the following decade and a half. It also gave us great commercials like this one.
via videosift.com
I am still trying to determine if the person who spent hours and hours of editing Rachel Ray’s show audio did it out of spite, humor, or some sort of sexual perversion.
via videosift.com
Sorry for the grumpy post, here are some less bleak videos to smile at, or just be confused by, take your pick.
via videosift.com
Thank the goodness we had the innocence of the 1950’s. Its naivety gave us license to run around naked for the following decade and a half. It also gave us great commercials like this one.
via videosift.com
I am still trying to determine if the person who spent hours and hours of editing Rachel Ray’s show audio did it out of spite, humor, or some sort of sexual perversion.
via videosift.com
Monday, June 2, 2008
Little to Say
I don’t think that I will burden you with a paragraph on non-sense today. I think that the posts do enough justice themselves.
Ahh the fetishes of the world are countless, here is a lovely one called squashing. Make sure that you watch until the end for the fall off the bed fun.
via videosift.com
Here is the trailer for Time Gun.
via videosift.com
The guy that posted this video thinks that his cat is stalking his girlfriend; I think it is his girlfriend that is stalking his cat. The best part is the mash up of the Conway Twitty song, I am pretty sure it didn’t have this kind of profanity in it to begin with it.
via videosift.com
Japan will go to any length to make a good prank television show, even as far as destroying somebody’s mental health.
via videosift.com
And finally someone made a video in answer to the Salami Fighters Association video I posted months back.
via videosift.com
Ahh the fetishes of the world are countless, here is a lovely one called squashing. Make sure that you watch until the end for the fall off the bed fun.
via videosift.com
Here is the trailer for Time Gun.
via videosift.com
The guy that posted this video thinks that his cat is stalking his girlfriend; I think it is his girlfriend that is stalking his cat. The best part is the mash up of the Conway Twitty song, I am pretty sure it didn’t have this kind of profanity in it to begin with it.
via videosift.com
Japan will go to any length to make a good prank television show, even as far as destroying somebody’s mental health.
via videosift.com
And finally someone made a video in answer to the Salami Fighters Association video I posted months back.
via videosift.com
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