“You are all evil, leave me alone!”
That statement brings back the soothing memories of my childhood. I remember one year, a snowy Christmas Eve, awaking in the night to the sound of footsteps upon my roof. Like most children I was immediately curious to see if the stories of St. Nick were true. Shuffling bleary eyed down the hall in my footy pajamas, I rounded the corner just in time to see the jolly fat man squeezing his was back up the chimney flew. As he rose he left me with a bit of Christmas cheer that I will never forget.
“Go back to bed you little bastard” said the bringer of Holiday happiness, “and tell no one of what you saw, or I’ll break your fucking legs!”
There was also the time that I woke just before sun up one Easter morning to find that the Easter Bunny had passed out in my living room and had vomited Cadbury Crème Eggs into my Easter basket. As I gently nudged the gin soaked symbol of blessed redemption out the front door I recall him muttering gently to himself.
“You’re lucky Jesus loves you, because I think you are a twat.”
Then of course there was the year that St. Patrick’s re-animated corpse showed up in my bedroom cursing in Gaelic with all those snakes.
So yes, I can safely say that I see nothing but good coming from the Detroit City Council in the next few years.
I know that I always home test all of my cosmetic products with radioactivity. Hmmm…I don’t remember having that third nipple before…and especially not on my cheek.
via videosift.com
I cannot tell which ethnic group this is designed to offend, so in its stead, I say fuck you to everyone.
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This is not safe for work, small children, llamas, grandmothers, nuns, and licensed day care operators. The rest of you enjoy this fairly raunchy bit of sketch comedy.
via videosift.com
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