Pandas must be furious because they don’t get the respect that other bears do. The mighty Grizzly Bear with its massive paws and dagger-like teeth is feared as a ferocious man eater. The Polar Bear is not only impressive in its skill of eviscerating seals, but it dares to live in some of the most extreme conditions on the planet. Even the Sloth Bear, the silliest named bear on the planet, is graced with large sickle like claws that allow it to tear through almost anything. To add insult to injury, the Panda didn’t earn the distinct title of bear until 1995. Until then scientists thought that it was actually a very large raccoon species. Raccoon?!?!? Did any of these so-called “scientists” bother to ask the great panda its opinion on the matter? No, instead they just continued to feed them copious amounts of bamboo and call their babies silly alliterative names like Yang Yang and Zhen Zhen. However, man cannot be held entirely responsible for the repressive status the panda must endure; nature has its own roll to play in bating us on. The great panda suffers from an incurable case of extreme cuteness. I don’t know a person alive, that if given the chance, who wouldn’t want to hug one of these massive achromatic balls of fluff.
Do not be so forlorn. Once my future-self has completed his time machine and journeys back in time to show me how awesome it is I will simply have him go back and convince Hannibal to make that cross-alpine journey on the backs of pandas instead of elephants. That should give the pandas the social boost they need.
With a time machine I will also be able to go back and put a stop to this madness as well.
via videosift.com
This is a scene from a movie called Bruce Lee the Invincible, in which Bruce (incidentally not played by Bruce Lee) fights a gorilla (incidentally not played by a gorilla).
via videosift.com
This is why you never attempt to buy a computer advertised on a piece of junk mail.
via videosift.com
No comments:
Post a Comment