Smiting Time!

In case you haven’t heard the Large Hadron Collider (you know, that atom smasher that was going to destroy the world by creating a black hole a mile under the ground some where in Switzerland) has broken before they even got to actually collide anything. While the scientists behind the LHC claim that the most likely cause of failure was faulty wiring, we all know better. It is obvious that the breakdown was caused by sabotage. A carefully hand selected crack team of unicorn were subcontracted by an off shoot group of the Irish Republican Army. This faction of I.R.A. freedom fighters, a group composed mostly of leprechauns, answers to a shadow organization from the Pacific Northwest. This shadow organization, known to its well groomed members as The Greater Western Seaboard Sasquatch Alliance, is the financial arm of a much larger underground organization. When I say underground I mean it, being that its entire member body is comprised of sun fearing goblins. The European Goblin Sect, concerned that the LHC operations would cause problems with their expansive European Goblin Cave system, contacted the monster of Loch Ness (who’s name is Angus McGillis) to formulate a plan. Mr. McGillis was the one who originally suggested unicorn, due to their low believability status, and the rest is history.

You thought I was going to say this was the work of God, didn’t you? Nope, God, being the omniscient fellow that he is knew that the goblins would take care of it.

Speaking of God, they say he works in mysterious ways. Sometimes I think that people just use that sentiment as an excuse to do their own works in WTF ways. Ways such as the following video called Super Book. Why Super Book? Because a normal Bible would never time-transport you, your sibling, as well as your bumbling helper robot into some of the Old Testament’s most tumultuous events. Super Book would. Not to mention the fact that it is all done to a theme song that sounds like it was preformed by the 70’s prog-rock group Kansas.


via videosift.com

Maybe I am a little old fashioned when it comes to my churchin’ because I would not have thought that you would find The Theme Song from Superman in most hymnals.


via videosift.com

Let us slip over to the sinful side of man with those nutty Belgians and their internet search engine ads.


via videosift.com

Seeing that we are on the subject of all things holy and unholy why not mention Satan himself, or as you might call him Oprah. Here she is in Oprah’s 9000 penises-Pedobear Remix.


via videosift.com

CHALLENGE!!!

This is some of the greatest cheese to come out of the 80’s. I have never seen anyone play a mixing board like a musical instrument before I watched this.


via videosift.com