Spring is almost upon us, and this being Michigan it looks like we get to welcome it in with snow. Yeah! Do not worry though, my succulent little plow jockeys, the ground will thaw soon enough. When that day comes we will don our muck boots, aprons and trowels, and head to our vegetable gardens. What’s that you say… you don’t garden? Have you learned nothing from bathing in the case of Mandom you purchased after yesterdays posts? Working the good soil is equivalent to toughness. I dare you to call a farmer a wuss. You’ll find your ass John Deered so fast you won’t know what hit you.
I have spent these many winter months in contemplation of my garden layout. I wasn’t sure what to plant first. Providence struck me as I searched for today’s videos. I was granted an epiphany in the form of this video.
Certainly the uses of the “apple of the ground” seemed limitless after that vision. I had to make a decision, what shall I use my potatoes for? The answer came to me in the second part of my grand revelation.
My happiness was soon edged with fear. While learning the answers that I sought, I was also given a prophetical glimpse into the future. The little Japanese boy would grow up, his love of the potato chip would not wane, but the results of ignoring his freaky dog would ever change the world.
via videosift.com
WHY LITTLE JAPANESE BOY, WHY!?!?!?!?!
You should never ignore your pet for the sake of possible future bukkake. Has Mandom taught you nothing? Respect for nature will always lead you down the pathway to carnal pleasures. Ignoring your dog will only lead you to murder and dramatic chip eating!
Now that I have seen the future laid out before me I know that it is better not to plant the garden after all. Why risk upsetting the balance of the universe?
Besides, gardening is a rather girly thing to do.
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