So if you haven’t heard, according to House of Yahweh church leader Yisrayl Hawkins, today will be the first day of global nuclear war. I seriously hope that this wacky cult leader is wrong (as he has ironically been a couple times in the past). For you see, today is my birthday and I don’t want to spend it in you typical nuclear holocaustic ways. I have no desire to be vaporized, or worse, left as an irradiated brain-lusting zombie. I was kind of looking forward to maybe having a steak dinner with my family, drinking a few beers tonight, and rounding the day out by playing a little Grand Theft Auto 4. I do suppose that if the bombs start a’droppin’ that I would rather fall into the prior category of victim rather than the later. I think being vaporized would be something akin to walking out of your pleasantly air conditioned house into a sizzling August afternoon…ya know, but like times a billion. The worst part would be the fact that burnt hair would most likely be the last thing you would smell, and that would be like eating an entire bag of pistachios just to end on that one shriveled bitter one…man I hate that. Speaking of pistachios, I have noticed that as of late, they don’t seem to sell the red dyed ones anymore. They probably stopped because the red dye causes cancer or something. Don’t they feel silly now seeing that cancer won’t matter much to the nuked grey matter munchers that will roam the desolate earth after today? Put that one in your pipe and smoke it Germack!
This video is generally considered to be the internet’s version of MTV’s Video Killed the Radio Star video; the original. However I had never seen it until today and it is truly such a vintage piece of WTF that I thought it deserved a spot on this sacred ground.
via videosift.com
This is a mixture of schlock and crap, but even as so it is fucked up enough to make the grade today.
via videosift.com
This video is actually very long, almost 29 minutes long, but if you have the connection speed and time I highly recommend it. The Day Today is its name and it is a brilliant British news parody.
via videosift.com
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1 comment:
GO TODDSIFT ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY!
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