Lesser Expectations

There are certain words and phrases in the English vernacular that drive me insane. One is “I gave a hundred and ten percent.” I am not generally a purest when it comes to anything, least of all mathematical theory, but I cannot accept the concept of adding to a number that represents the totality of something. This irritating phrase is reflected in the equally annoying “He gave it his all.” A phrase used generally when someone’s “all” was not enough to complete said task. Perhaps if that lazy bastard had “given it all” plus that magical ten percent some people think can be added, he might have just accomplished what he set out to do in the first place. People are useless. Speaking of “people,” why is it that we insist on creating words and then not using them? “People” is the word that we created to be the plural of “person”, but for some reason, the word “persons” has become equally acceptable. These are the same stupid “persons” who insist on “thinking outside the box,” because obviously the rest of us do our best thinking while sitting inside stuffy cramped cardboard boxes. Yes, yes, I realize that the box is supposed to be a metaphor and that when the phrase was coined sometime in the mid eighties it was probably an innovative motivator for creativity, but it is so overused and contrite at this point that outside the box has become inside the box. So today I suppose if you want to be original you think “inside the box” or, as I like to do most of my thinking, “in the bag.” I guess that I shouldn’t expect too much from a language that is composed from French, German and a smattering of Greek and Latin. Speaking of expecting, the last phrase that I want to bitch about is “Expect the unexpected.” This is one of those phrases that self destructs under the weight of its own prose. If I sit around (presumably while outside of a box) expecting those things that I might not expect, when they happen I will have already expected them, therefore making them no longer unexpected. Then again, I probably was only “giving it my all’ and not the full “110%” I should have, therefore missing something unexpected in my anticipations, and making me the laughing stock of all the “persons” inside the box.

This first video has been lurking around the internets for quite some time, and I didn’t give it the time of day, I guess I didn’t expect (there is that damnable word again) to be that good, shame on me. Here is Sherlockbot!


via videosift.com

Well I guess we all don’t get what we expect out of things sometimes, I didn’t realize that video would be good, and this little boy didn’t expect he would be born of the filthy loins of a chain smoking, alcoholic, anti-social father.


via videosift.com

CHALLENGE!!!

Now here is something that you could have thoroughly expected to come from a gigantic mound of coke and mediocre musical talent. A minute and a half is all I wanted of this self-fellating piece of avant-garde piece of Klaus Nomi-esque feces.


via videosift.com

Finally, you would certainly expect that at some point someone would find the previous music/video style laughable enough to create their own mocking version of it. Enjoy Anti-Pope, by Zlad Vladcik.


via videosift.com