toddsift: Snail Penis

Why is it that every nature documentary has to show animal sex? I can understand that certain things need to be shown to make, what would normally a boring information dump, exciting. Showing the dramatic life versus death hunt scene of the African Lion is good, showing a bull elephant charge the chase vehicle to protect it’s territory is good, showing hippos in the middle of their oh so passionate sweaty love thrusting, not so good. I am sure that if you asked a documentary maker why they insist on putting the happy humping hippos in their feature they would give the generic “Its part of nature” spiel. Ironically enough cougar pooping and monkey masturbating are also “part of nature”, but you won’t see either of those happen on NOVA. However to see those kinds of things you can turn to the internets. The internets is a world full of masturbating monkeys and pooping cougars, along with whinny narcissistic brats leaving messages of self loathing all over youtube (don’t even get me started on bloggers, those attention starved whores). So in honor of animals and the natural things that they do, here is some animal WTF…oh yeah, there is also Anna Nicole Smith as a space alien, and Baby Fighting.

I can’t think of anything more natural for a monkey to do than to sell his house in the Congo, move to Japan, buy a second hand Kimono, and get a job at a local tea house.

I never knew how kinky snail sex is, but apparently Isabella Rossellini does. When you combine Ms. Rossellini, snail sex, and a small amount of defecation, you get this video. This is slightly NSFW do to a nude suit, replica snail penises and moaning.

via videosift.com

Unlike snail sex, we all know how kinky William Shatner is. Here is the loving moment “The Shat” met with Koko the sign language gorilla.

via videosift.com

And finally in the animal category, proof that Disney can make and sell anything.

via videosift.com

Now that all the bestiality has gotten you worked up, here a couple of videos that defy logic in their own special way. First is a trailer for what has got to be one of the most awesome films ever made, Illegal Aliens, staring Anna Nicole Smith. Why the drugs had to rob us of such a quality thespian, I will never know.