It’s Getting Preachy in Here

The other day Theron informed me that there happened to be a screaming squirrel perched atop his neighbor’s roof. I inquired if he meant a chattering squirrel and he told me the squirrel was definitely screaming. This of course meant that I would have to verify this phenomenon via the highly accurate youtube. Sure enough there were several videos of squirrels screaming. Just what are these majestic woodland creatures so worked up about? Are they concerned with the decline of quality oak trees, due to mankind’s sprawling urbanization? Are they distraught over negative impact of the industrial revolution on the environment? Are they yelling a warning about the inevitable collapse of the modern world due to globalization and an ever thinning economy? No, of course not, they are just squirrels after all and they focus on the simple things in life. Most likely they are just pissed off at the neighborhood dog, or are yelling in frustration because another squirrel snatched a hidden cache of their prized acorns. I am by no means suggesting we turn a blind eye to the larger problems that face our world today, but I am sure that there is someone out there looking down at us and laughing at how menial our problems seem in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps the solution to all of our worldly issues is to follow the advice of a lesser known White Stripes song.

“Be like the squirrel, girl, be like the squirrel”
- Little Acorns

After all if we had spent our time focusing on the simple things in life, we may have never gotten to the point we are trying to get away from today.

Okay let us move from squirrels to horses. I like how the owner of the horse (the one that wins this race) decided to affront the long held tradition of naming your race horse long complicated names.


via videosift.com

Here we go from horses to dogs. I never knew that chronic masturbation could lead to the demise of my household pet…I better cut down.


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Finally let’s move on from dogs to cougars. I would “Boogie-Voogie” all day and night with these classy ladies. I don’t know what I find more entertaining about this song; the fact that they are so polite that they repeatedly use the formal moniker of SIR, or that the lyrics of the second verse basically tell you that you should have listened to the chorus, and that they are going to sing that chorus again.


via videosift.com