Protect the Cheese!!!

It is always amazing to me how everyday objects seem to have the richest of histories. Take the pizza box top support for instance. The internet (the big liar that it is) will tell you that this humble invention was patented in 1983 by Carmela Vitale… end of story.

WRONG!

This is just the prologue to the story…a story that takes place mostly in flashback form, and then eventually catches up with the point of the prologue. From the point of the prologue the story continues into the future to round out the narrative. Leaving you to think; “if there needed to be so much background information to be told, why the hell they would decide to set the prologue three quarters into the story…what do they think this is The Usual Suspects, or something?”

But I digress.

The pizza box support is as old as the pizza itself (which everyone knows is as old as the world itself). When God kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden they sought shelter in caves. It was in these caves where Adam spent his time doing cave paintings and ordering from the local pizza places. Pizza boxes, not being made of the sturdy stuff they are today, necessitated a support device to keep the papyrus lids from sticking to the goat cheese toppings.


As time rolled on (and there was much unspoken incest), man eventually mastered the soft metals such as bronze. Bronze left far less sediment upon the pizzas than its predecessor of sandstone did, and so it was adopted for all lid support needs.


Thanks to the invading armies of the west (and you thought there were no positives to war) Iron became the new bronze, much in the way wool became the new burlap.


Iron was the standard for a long period of time, eventually man made materials would permanently replace the iron pizza box support, but only after a resurgence of the “Modern Look” in the early 1980’s. Below we see a classy brushed aluminum model.


(here is the part where we would come back around to the prologue… patented in 1983 by Carmela Vitale…blah blah blah and so on).

It is the future we see here. Do not be fooled by its plain appearance, for you see this is no ordinary plastic pizza box support. It is an ordinary plastic pizza box support with mp3 capibitlity.



Thank God for progress.

Here is the WTF

If you were unfortunate enough to watch the last two seasons of 24 then this video might not seem that out there to you. If you were like me and bailed out on the show before it sank into the laughable abyss of nonsense, then here is a glimpse of what it was like.



CHALLENGE!!!

Well maybe not a CHALLENGE!!!, I sat through this with no problem. I felt deeply embarrassed for this individual, but that is howl I fee about most people at any given time.


via videosift.com