It is no secret to those who know me that I hate summer. I generally spend 20 percent of a hot summer day just griping about how hot it is. I have always maintained that spring and fall are the superior seasons and winter is good as long as there is snow, but summer can bite my ass no matter what. Here is the point where all the phthisiophiliacs* out there start throwing arguments my way.
“But Todd, summer is great for cook outs!”
Charcoal burns year round and propane works well in spring and fall also.
“But Todd, when else am I going to work on my tan?”
Melanoma
“But Todd, think of all the great summer clothes!”
If cold you can always add more layers, but when hot you can only get so naked…legally.
“But Todd, when else can I thoroughly enjoy water sports?”
And that was the point where I used to concede defeat. Sure there are indoor pools and water parks, but nothing competes with being out on the open water… Or so I thought.
Open water is no longer safe thanks to the brain eating amoebas, and the phenomenon known as secondary drowning.
“But Todd, surely you jest, there are no brain eating amoebas, and who has ever heard of secondary drowning?”
There are and I have.
Naegleria fowleri is an amoeba that is quite commonly found in still warm waters. Generally considered harmless, this amoeba, if inhaled nasally has the ability to multiply in the nasal and sinus cavities where it then migrates into your brain and begins to devour your grey matter with a 97 percent fatality rate. By the time physical symptoms begin to occur, it is too late to save the patient.
Secondary Drowning is a condition that occurs up to 24 hours after a victim leaves a pool or body of water. It stems from a primary near drowning, or inhalation of water. This is nature’s mulligan. If someone has inhaled an appropriate amount of water, and they do not expel it, it can begin to change lung chemistry leading to respiratory collapse and death.
Now if the less than 200 victims world wide from these two fatalities are not enough to get you to hate summer, then I don’t know what else to do to convince you that I am right.
Yes I said less than 200 world wide.
My Cousin Kris once again tipped me off to an extremely excellent clip of WTF, enjoy all nine minutes of it.
I am trying to figure out if this is a spoof or not. I hope not, because I so want to make use of this service.
via videosift.com
I don’t care if you don’t like heavy metal music, cleavage, or Russians, this has got to be the best music video I have seen in quite a while.
via videosift.com
Thank great green gravy that we keep sending all of our jobs over seas. I know that I wouldn’t want to work in conditions like this, I am just glad that some one else will do it, so that our economy can suffer.
via videosift.com
I have always thought that Phyllis Diller was probably one of the most frightening things to crawl this terra firma; someone else seems to have agreed. The only problem is that I cannot figure out witch one is the animatronic zombie, and which one is Ms. Diller.
via videosift.com
* Contrary to the implication of my sentence using this term, phthisiophiliacs, are not lovers of summer, sunshine, or any associated summer activity. Phthisiophilia is actually defined as an extreme love of tuberculosis; I just thought the word looked fancy.
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