Whooping Ass

You may or may have not noticed that I did not post anything on Friday. It was because I was chaperoning a field trip for my daughter’s kindergarten class. MANDOM teaches us that it is a good thing to spend time with our offspring. Seeing that I don’t have a son to arm wrestle, or drive in fast cars with, I figured a trip to the local public library with my daughter was equally brawny. The day was a truly insightful experience, not at the library, but after we got back. My daughter’s teacher was wise enough to understand that 20 some odd kindergarteners were never going to sit quietly in class and learn anything for the last hour of the day, especially with parents around. So we had recess. It was during this delightful fresh air outing that a revolution came to me. I COULD KICK ANY OF THESE CHILDREN’S ASSES! Really it wouldn’t take much. A bitch slap, tripping, a light shove and any one of those kids would have run off crying. It made me feel powerful. Adding to my ego was the fact that they all thought I was cool. I didn’t have to do a thing, just stand there in my 6’ 2” glory and push them on a swing.

Armed with this knowledge I will finally be able to take over the world with an army of kindergarteners. Politician after politician have always gone after the working class to support them. Yes there are about 70 million of them in this country. Yes that is a lot more than the roughly 3000 kindergarteners, but I have the advantage. You will never going to get more than 51% of the middle class to follow you. The working class is now down to 35 million. Of the remaining, about 51% are male. If you have ever spent much time around 5 year olds you will know that they have a tendency to launch them selves at you, and are notorious for accidently mashing your balls with said launch. The working class is now down to about 17 million. Those 17million are women, and most women find little kids adorable on some level.

In conclusion the plan is fool proof. Let us recap the positive aspects.

1. Impressed with the simple things
2. Have a propensity for wailing on the clock weights
3. Enthrall the average woman
4. I could totally kick asses if an uprising should occur

In honor of my new revolution here are some videos that kick ass…literally.

Ok so this one actually kicks face, but you get the picture.


via videosift.com

This one kicks ass and face and uses weapons. If you can make it through the opening sequence you are treated to some delightfully bad overdubbing.


via videosift.com

This morning I heard about this Mexican Luchador, named Maximo, whose shtick is being making out with the opponents he defeats. This didn’t come as a surprise to me because I assumed all pro wrestlers were gay. Seriously look at those outfits.

These guys are so much as gay as just plain dramatic. Yes they are from Japan why do you bother asking?







P.S. After I posted the Klaus Nomi video the other day, I actually received a few comments. The first was from my brother in law. He suggested that this video was more suitable for the WTF category. I am inclined to agree. The second post was from a fellow blogspot blogger who apparently has an obsession with Heir Nomi, and was glad to educate me on his greatness and his tragic death of AIDS. I don’t think she gets my blog. Oh well it’s not for everyone… but it should be.